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01.04.2018

Milostná aférka často nemusí mať žiadny hlboký podtext. Neverník môže veľmi skoro svoj skutok ľutovať a trpieť výčitkami svedomia, zvlášť keď si uvedomí, čo by v oficiálnom partnerovi (partnerke) mohol stratiť.

Určitú úľavu potom môže vidieť vo svojom vlastnom priznaní. Ťarcha lži môže byť pre neho natoľko neznesiteľná, že ani žiadne iné riešenie nevidí.

Priznanie má tak určite svoj význam, lenže pripadá do úvahy len u veľmi zrelých a psychicky vyrovnaných partnerov, ktorí sú schopní túto skutočnosť prijať a odpustiť.

Predovšetkým neverník musí začať sám u seba. Utriediť si myšlienky, pocity, nájsť pravé príčiny svojich činov a následne sám sebe odpustiť. Pretože odpustenie je ten najlepší hnací motor a zároveň medicína urýchľujúce hojenie.

Pokiaľ už jedinec uvažuje o priznaní, potom si musí uvedomiť, že prijať pravdu nezvládne každý a rozhodne nepôjde o žiadny krátkodobý proces, ktorý ešte ten deň skončí odpustením. Podvedený zvyčajne prežíva veľké množstvo emócií - od zloby, nenávisti, cez vinu, strach, hanbu, či smútok.

Neverníka potom čakajú otázky v štýle, s kým presne podvádzal, čo ho k tomu viedlo ... a odpovede v štýle „bolo to len pomätenie zmyslov“ rozhodne nebudú stačiť. Asi najlepšie by v takýchto prípadoch bolo povedať pravdu, lenže to, čo je pre jedného znesiteľné, môže u druhého vyvolať doslova hystériu. Riešenie celkovej situácie potom môže byť o to zložitejšie.

Keď to tak všetko zhrnieme, vychádza nám, že je vlastne lepšie o svojom pochybení mlčať a snažiť sa situáciu riešiť snahou o zlepšovanie vzťahu. Tak, aby nebol dôvod k žiadnemu ďalšiemu pochybeniu.

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